Burton, Gays and The Ugliest Chick Alive...

Holy bloody shitcakes, by some weird twist of fate in the internets, I've managed to collect as many followers as posts... In celebration of this milestone, I have decided to step up my blogging game and enlighten you lovely folk, (Cockleg, Cunt and er...the other two), as to what Ive been up to (although to be fair, Cockleg and The Cunt were actually there for parts of it so I'm not sure at what stage this becomes weird...)

We had a lovely drive up to sunny Burton On Trent, the spiritual home of Marmite and Homosexuality for the Annual Burton Gay Off aka "The Funday"

Somehow, and Christ alone knows how, prizes were organised and I managed to spend an entire afternoon burning my neck and shouting at a field full of idiots with a megaphone. As I didnt get kicked to death by the prat who turned up dressed as a Panda, who then had to listen to me scream "GO ON PANDA!" as loud as possible through a megaphone every time I saw him, I can only assume that I didnt go far enough. Better luck next year. Cockleg won a shirt for doing his only trick,  I won a hat for doing my only trick and Jerome did all manner of things far too easily and got some wheels despite being a showoff...

Matt's One Trick (TM) with Weird Pandaman lurking in the background

MVP of the Gay Day Rad Jam was Smedbench. This is Smedbench. Do Not Meddle with him. He is 50% more manly than me, 100% more manly than Hitler and 150% more manly than a woman. This biological marvel makes him unbelievable on a skateboard, a fact that his nimble little feet proved throughout the day by landing every trick we shouted at him, first go, on demand: switch, regular, fakie and nollie. The guy is a hero and according to those in the know, will shortly be having a skateboard with his name and "Unabomber" written on it which I strongly recommend you buy. 

The Cunt couldnt take the pace on the way home and decided that the hardshoulder of the M1 was the best place to jump out of the car for a wee wee. Unfortunately I was in the outside lane at the time but noone wants a passenger seat full of recycled cider so out he jumped while we took a photo wondering what is the matter with him.

Celebrating the emerging theme of this post, behold the best skateboard graphic I have seen: yes, it really is a Unicorn pooing a rainbow thinking "Im soooo Gay"

Mrs Dickfingers is decidedly unimpressed about this one but theres no way I can't have this hanging on the wall... 

And the final update for today: the Satellite Dove, Delores, has hatched possibly the ugliest living creature known to humanity, Daisy, Satellite Dove v.2, looks like she's been built inside out but will be sure to appear in next weeks update, when she may or may not have feathers...

Stay tuned for the next update which may or may not include Doves, Bummers and Creamteas