Culture and Shit...

After repeated accusations* that this blog isn't educational and highbrow enough, I decided to go to Knebworth house for a day of culture and shit... Unfortunately my interpretation of culture is drinking tea with a saucer and not scratching my ballsac but you have to start somewhere: and this is what culture looks like: a pale tawny wrongun standing outside a bloody old house drinking lemonade wearing a flatcap. How refined...

*kind of

I found a maze for midgets. Or children. Or potentially both... 

...and managed to get lost...

...a fact that was quickly forgotten when presented with CockShroom...

I then had a cream tea, which I'm giving serious consideration to include in every blogpost as they are beyond rad.

For those of you interested in the current colour of Dickfoot we're currently at the Black/Yellow stage however I would hazard a guess that we're heading into Purple Country soon.

Special mention to my newest follower Jack T. Cunt. who has seen the merits of following this wonderful blog after a brief 3 hour bullying session on the drive to the Burton Bummers Gay Day Bumoff. Welcome aboard, photos to follow...

Hold tight for the next installment: What Happened at the Burton Gay Day.

Blackfoot, The Gonz and Satellite Doves...

As predicted, the Fourstar Demo at Stoke was piss wet and consisted of nothing more than The Gonz arsing about in the weather doing boardslides in the wet. You have to marvel at skateboarding: there arent too many passtimes that you can justify driving a 6 hour round trip to watch a bloke you saw on the internet hang out in a park near a playground... Depending on your point of view it was either a rad day out or a very very long way to drive to watch an old man slide along a rail on an ironing board, but I guess it was better than sitting around doing nowt.

Toby decided to that to break the monotony of sitting in his van waiting for the 'Merrkans to turn up passing the time by making Fraser eat jam, we would go to the most council shopping centre in what was voted "Worst Place To Live In Britain" to have a cake. We saw a man eating Lasagne with Gravy and then proceeded to dick around until we started boring ourselves and left...

 

We went back to the carpark, and decided that because of the shitty weather we would waterproof Fraser's board, something that took him a good quarter of an hour to get rid of later...

I had a piss by the side of the road and Toby took a picture cause thats just the kind of guy that he is I suppose...


In other unrelated news: I went skating yesterday, tried a stinking trick to tail, of which I have many, and jumping off the board, managed to roll my toes. For those of you that are not involved in skateboarding in one way or another, rolling your ankle is a fairly common occurrence to skaters but I have never heard of anyone rolling their toes. Im not 100% sure how I managed it but thought that you'd all be excited to learn that it is indeed possible. Every day is a school day...


To end on two positive notes: firstly the Dove that nested behind my satellite dish last year has returned and laid an egg thereby ensuring that if all else fails I will definitely have something to report on here... 

and Cockleg from last weeks entry has decided to promote himself from "Casual Lurker" to 

"Fully Fledged Follower." Welldone Cockleg, tell both your friends... 

Next times exciting update to include "My Adventure In A Childs Maze," Interesting Things I Have Learnt Driving To Go Skateboarding" and "What Colour Is My Foot Today"...

Stay tuned...

Camping, Curlywurlies and Cockleg...

Occasionally, Mrs Dickfingers will have temporary lapses in judgement. These can include agreeing to go out with me in the first place followed up by allowing me to move in and import a variety of tasteless dead animals and skateboards to incorporate into the decor of BDF Headquarters... 

Her latest lapse was agreeing to go camping for part of our summer holiday which meant that I got to go garden camping in preparation:

 

This stoked me right out up until the point when we got back from the pub at midnight to realise that we actually had to go to sleep in what was essentially two carrier bags nailed to the floor with coathangers and string...  Hopefully Cornwall in August will be considerably warmer than Hertford in May...

Having recovered, I went skating and insisted that the four people that actually know about this blog (hello by the way) would be extraordinarily stoked to know that according to recently discovered evidence, I apparently am too fast and gnarly to be captured by conventional cameras. This is clearly the reason the following picture looks all shit and bandy and isnt anything to do with the fact that I struggle to coordinate myself when walking, let alone rolling around on a board...

 In other news, Mofugga, from the sidewalk forum and fellow lurker revealed that his leg has the dimensions and vein ratio of a pornstar's winky...

I also ate a Curly Wurly and have included this purely because it gives the post a nice title...

Should be going to Derby tomorrow to see the Fourstar skate team skate Stoke Plaze, so there could well be interesting photos from that but in all likelihood it'll probably be another cream tea bonanza...