Tuesday, 18 May 2010

Barbeques Consolidated Skateboarding and Piss...

I'm sorry to disappoint you blogfans, but this is going to be a very brief update in my otherwise fascinating day to day life due in no small part to the fact that I am knackered and have been really busy. That might sound like you're in for a bonanza bumper edition update but in reality I'm just tired so I can't be bothered. Sorry. I'll be sure to try harder next time...

In my defense, my previous mentioned sideproject is nearing its launch so if any of you wonderful people have unlimited interwebs access you should definitely log onto that there facebook and like writerstailblock.com which is totally and definitely going to rule.

Anyway, enough about that, I'll be pushing this harder than is probably wise in good time so you'll hear plenty about it soon enough...

This weekend saw the arrival of the Consolidated Team who stopped at Saffron Walden for the only English stop off in their European Tour and seeing as Saffron Walden is only about half an hour away I thought that it would be rude not to turn up and stand around watching. Especially as Zorlac phoned me up earlier in the week to say that he was sorting it out and that he was going to put on a barbeque. And everyone loves barbeques.

What I didn't realise at the time was that when he said "I'm doing a barbeque" he actually meant "you're going to be doing a barbeque..." For everyone...

Here I am cooking a load of mystery meat for a load of skateboarding people ably assisted by Leticia from Consolidated. If you got the shits and you think it was from something you ate at the weekend, it was definitely something she cooked and nothing, nothing at all to do with me.


Zorlac checked in on the systematic charcoaling of meat discs then left me to get on with it.


Steak brought some Steak. Look how stoked he is.


Toby came down from Derby long enough to tell me how shit this blog is (sorry mate) then made me pose like a gladiator with my barbeque shield.



Cundall showed up and treated all the females and gays in the vacinity to a treat the likes of which they won't have ever seen by taking his shirt off and displaying his frankly jawdropping physique and dicktingling collection of home made body art improvements.

Dont you wish your girlfriend was hot like this?


Popeye...


The excitement of the day got too much so he had to nip behind a shed for a little wee wee with a shirt on his head as a disguise.


Fraser, who incidently, still isnt my son, came down from Derby with Toby and Mrs Toby, to check out the skate demo. As previously mentioned though, 50% of all skateboarding is sitting around in carparks either talking about, or waiting for skateboarding to start. As for the rest 10% is actually skateboarding and the rest is just weed, cobras and tigers...


I am reviving the frankly slept on combo of Pombears and Lucozade which is the perfect antidote to hangovers and slightly unsettled stomachs from eating partially defrosted sausages and burgers cremated on the outside and raw in the middle.


Mrs Toby bought him a magazine that had this frankly amazing double page spread of various animals bumming each other. If you'll remember, I wrote an animal blog about them bumming each other months ago so I am officially ahead of the journalistic curve. Mark my words, in a few months, everyone'll be banging on about cream teas, laybacks and barbeques...


Fraser got inspired by the magazine and convinced Cundall to give him a gobble.


Then Cundall pissed himself when he saw...


...my new trick. Which doesn't involve putting a hand down on the coping. In even more mystifying news, I have managed to learn a new flip trick. Footage soon, depending on whether or not My Mate Adam has taken it off his camera. If he has, then you'll just have to take my word for it because I'm not 100% I can do another one...


Oh and I got a new job by the way. Its smashing and I'm having a lovely time.

Not sure what the next ones going to be about but it'll probably be awesome and could well be about Delores, who came back and banged out a couple of eggs so we're due some scrawny ratchicks any day now...


Until next time...

1 comment:

tel said...

wow that was actually amazing. i couldnt make it to the consolidated demo due to my selfish sister in law having a birthday. bitch. but reading that account of it was just like being there.